The Importance of Being Jayne

Fandom: Firefly
Pairing : Jayne / Kaylee
Rating : none
Spoilers : Serenity (1×00 and 1×01)
Disclaimer : not my ‘verse…
Summary : Jayne thoughts about  Kaylee.

The Importance of Being Jayne.

Earlier that day, Mal had said there was no power in the ‘verse that could stop Kaylee being cheerful.
Right now, Jayne was strongly hoping that Mal hadn’t underestimated the savagery of this gorram ‘verse.
‘Til then, he wasn’t gonna let the damn fed be that power.

As he looked at Kaylee on the doc’s table, a couple hours ago, he had noticed for the first time the little bear on her pants. That kind of detail, it was so… so Kaylee.
« Yeah, ruttin’ relevant Jayne. »
He was used to talking to himself.
And to shutting himself up.
He had watched her during the whole operation, huddled on the catwalk. Shaking. Like a gorram kid in front of the boogeyman.
Well, it had been his very own way to… be there for her.

‘Cause when he had seen Kaylee falling on the floor, bleeding, he hadn’t stopped his walk to help her.
He wasn’t a gorram doc’. There wasn’t nothing he could have done for her. Nothing but kill Dobson. And without Zoe, he sure would’ve done it.

« Kill a fed? Can you think of a stupider thing to do? »
Zoe hadn’t understood, neither had any of the others. How could they? It wasn’t about killing the fed. It was about avenging Kaylee.
About earning some kind of … forgiveness. Redemption for the only sin he had ever regretted committing.

« Captain, can you please stop her from being cheerful? »
He didn’t mean it. And Kaylee knew that, right ? He couldn’t wait for the moment she’d wake up and he’d tell her he didn’t mean it.
Except of course, he wouldn’t actually tell her.
He wouldn’t apologize either for what had happened at dinner.

‘Cause that would have been so not … Jayne.
And it was important, being Jayne. ‘Cause as long as he was Jayne, he could be certain that Kaylee was keeping on being Kaylee.
And that was all that mattered.

So, as Jayne, he was now standing in front of this hundan of Dobson. With a knife.
« You only gotta scare him, » Mal had ordered.
« Pain is scary, » he had replied.
And he meant it.

« Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? »
He wasn’t exactly listening to him as he answered:
« Gee, I never been in trouble with the Law before…  »

He was hoping that at least Kaylee wasn’t scared.
« Don’t be scared, » he whispered inside his head, without knowing if it was to her, or to himself. « Don’t be scared… »
He stopped himself. That wasn’t very Jayne either.

« The package that boy is carrying », Dobson tried to explain…
« It’s a girl. » He cut him. « Cute, too, but I don’t think she’s all there. »

And he gave the fed his Jaynest smile.

« ‘Course, not all of her has to be…  »
Yeah, that line was very him.
Like that, Kaylee was gonna keep being Kaylee.
So alive.